wheres this old one come from? "Hes as bald as a coot"! last time i knew a coot had a full body of feathers.

"My beers as flat as a witches tit", have you ever seen a witch with a pair of huge knockers?

As black as new gates knocker? where the fook does that come from? was new gates knocker ( a door knocker i presume ) black?

" Taking coal from Newcastle" does Newcastle have any pits ?? does anyone know anyone whos ever taken coal from Newcastle?

The Beatles said " In the 60's There was 4,ooo holes in Blackburn Lancashire" Seeing as its a northern town we can only assume they were talking about arse holes. dont suppose anyone know how many are there now?