LIKE WE SAID, CUT OUT AND PLAY, OR JUST MARVEL AT THESE VERY RARE, AND PRICELESS EVIL DICTATORS TOP TRUMPS.

PLEASE VOTE BY REPLYING HERE

THANKS AGAIN

JOSEPH STALIN

DEATH TOLL 450 THOUSAND

DODGY FACE HAIR 9/10

TIME IN OFFICE NOT CLEAR

USE OF CHEMICAL WEAPONS 2/10

SADDAM HUSEIN

DEATH TOLL 3.6 MILLION

DODGY FACE HAIR 10/10

TIME IN OFFICE UNKNOWN

USE OF CHEMICAL WEAPONS 8/10

ROBERT MUAGBE

DEATH TOLL UNKNOWN

DODGY FACE HAIR 5/10

TIME IN OFFICE 1980- PRESENT

USE OF CHEMICAL WEAPONS 2/10

POL POT

DEATH TOLL 9.6 MILLION

DODGY FACE HAIR 0/10

TIME IN OFFICE 35 YEARS

USE OF CHEMICAL WEAPONS 3/10

IDI AMIN DADA

DEATH TOLL 500 THOUSAND

DODGY FACE HAIR 2/10

TIME IN OFFICE 8 YEARS

USE OF CHEMICAL WEAPONS 0/10

AUGUSTO PINOCHET

DEATH TOLL 33 THOUSAND

DODGY FACE HAIR 4/10

TIME IN OFFICE 17 YEARS

USE OF CHEMICAL WEAPONS 0/10

ADOLF HITLER

DEATH TOLL 6M

DODGY FACE HAIR 9/10

TIME IN OFFICE 11 YEARS

USE OF CHEMICAL WEAPONS 6/10

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS THE MOMENT YOUVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR..........THIS IS THE MAIN EVENT.........THIS IS SHOW TIME...........LETS GET READY TO RUMMMMMBBBBBBBLLLLLLE ! .

FINALY THE WAITING IS OVER, HERE IT IS. OUR FIRST LUNATIC ASYLUM ONLINE POLL !

IT IS

THE

LUNATIC ASYLUM

EVIL DICTATORS TOP TRUMPS

YOU CAN VOTE ONLINE, FOR YOUR TRUE CHAMPION OF EVIL, MARVEL AT THE STATISTICS THAT HAVE HELPED YOUR HERO INTO THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS HALL OF FAME THERE IS, OR EVEN CUT OUT THE CARDS AND PLAY AT HOME WITH YOUR KIDS.

WHATEVER THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE ARE THE DICTATORS.....

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK, WAS HITLER MISUNDERSTOOD?

HITLER WAS WALKING BACK TO HIS QUATERS AFTER A MEETING WITH HIS GENERALS, WHEN HE TRIPPED OVER A PAIR OF SHOES.

HE SHOUTED OUT, " GET RID OF THE FCUKING SHOES "

THE GENERALS THOUGHT HE SAID " GET RID OF THE JEWS "

BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO SCARED TO ARGUE WITH THE FUHER, THE ORDERS WERE CARRIED OUT.

Thoughts and comments welcome on this matter.

Bit quiet here tonight. Alfies out on day, or should it be night release. How bent is a 9 bob note by the way anybody????

Would you believe it? just phoned for a ruby, and theyve only got a bloody power cut. The only curry house in west london wotrth eatin from so cant get one from anywhere else, aparantly the chefs using candles to cook at the moment, or so were being told anyway. madness. absolutely madness.

wheres this old one come from? "Hes as bald as a coot"! last time i knew a coot had a full body of feathers.

"My beers as flat as a witches tit", have you ever seen a witch with a pair of huge knockers?

As black as new gates knocker? where the fook does that come from? was new gates knocker ( a door knocker i presume ) black?

" Taking coal from Newcastle" does Newcastle have any pits ?? does anyone know anyone whos ever taken coal from Newcastle?

The Beatles said " In the 60's There was 4,ooo holes in Blackburn Lancashire" Seeing as its a northern town we can only assume they were talking about arse holes. dont suppose anyone know how many are there now?

What about this one.. " Hes about as much use as tits on a chicken" i allways thought they would have been quite usefull, chicken breasts ect... are tits on chickens really that useless?

This is Basha. Ooh what a lovely pair of baps! YAK YAK YAK !!

This is Alfie. helllllo! Ding Dong!

This is me. Lee anyone recognise this classic film? birdy num num

Firstly.... Alfie wants to know, why do all northern birds have spotty asses???? is this true or north v south rivalry? They allways seem well up for it i must say, from previous visits up there. just where im not saying though. somewhere dark and wet though.

And also why is it all you northern girls don no clothes in november when out on the town? not that were complaining, long may it continue. secondly, im gonna be competing at the eurovision song contest next year ( hopefully ), and will be open to suggestions on how you think we will do? There will be Alfie on the spoons, Basher will be on the duckometer ( that rounded shaped oblong thing that quacks like a duck when stroked with a wooden stick ), and myself on either the harmonica or joanna. Im thinking of a soul beat with a mix of drum and bass and maybe a touch of glam rock. What do u all think? and would you vote for us down there in the eastern block?

Heres a new one for you all, its just about midnight on a friday night....
Why is it , anything with tits or wheels, allways costs you money????
Eh Up Cappy, Alfie says watch ya guv'nor! got any jellied eels for us me old china ???? Cor blimey! Were cream crackered ere, aint stopped all night. getting in a right two and eight. been up an down those apples an pairs all fcuking night aint stopped yet. Honestly you wanna see the looks on our boats, worn out mate. Could do with popping down the rub a dub for a couple of pigs ears mate i tell ya. i got a spare cock an hen in me pocket might pop over the sun for a refreshing stella.

See thee later

Still had no answer to the one about if jesus was a carpenter how much would he have charged to put up a book shelf? im havin one delivered next week an was after finding out the going rate.

Oh my god, he thinks hes the fcuking bees knees.

Does a Bee have Knees?/ and whats so fcuking good about em??

In a right bad mood at the moment, some Norther Monkey known as the Peacock has pissed me right off, Eh, Eh, Eh and all that nonsense. If you know who you are.... " Goin down! Goin down! Goin Down!". I fcuking hate Leeds!. Northern Pillock. We dont generally like northerners at the asylum, one gets an exception though. Oooh bugger! Ello old bean. See thee later.

Thanks for the post. UP THE OP'S!

OOOH

just thought of a new one....

How black is the ace of spades???

And where does this one come from

" Hes as happy as a dog with two dicks " has anyone ever seen a dog with 2 dicks? and how do we know hed enjoy having 2 dicks????

One of the lunatics has asked me to post this question to you intelligent beings.

If Jesus was a carpenter, how much did he charge to put up a bookshelf ?

Does anyone out there know?????

Heres a question for you all......

How many M&Ms does it take to fill an elephant?

Answers on a post card please.

Its nearly 2 in the morning on sat 19/05,

what sort of things are we thinking about????

Where does the saying " flapping like a queer penguin come from" ?

Does a queer penguin flap?

What about the saying " as wet as an otters pocket"? does any one know where or when that was first used?? or does an otter actually have a pocket?

what about

" Hes as bald as a badger " how is a badger bald??? thats stupid, who the fcuk made that one up.

" As rough as a badgers ass " is a badgers ass that rough?

" as dodgy as a sackfull of monkeys " i guess that is pretty dodgy.

" Hes got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp" Has anyone ever seen that happen?

If anyone can contribute to this please do.